I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
