I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Houston, we have a blender
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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