Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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