I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No I am not eating basil off your cock
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize