yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
