Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
