At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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