dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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