Whod you bang
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
