i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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