I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
