i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
