Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
