Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
bring money and cleavage
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
