i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
