i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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