Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
