Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
