i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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