"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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