How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's official drugs can't kill me
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
