I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
