so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
