And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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