Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
