Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
