I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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