Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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