We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
