you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
