She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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