the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
