i already hear my dad disowning me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
