Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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