it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
