david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's shark week go big or go home
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
