do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
