10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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