just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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