You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
