i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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