ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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