Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
