new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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