I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
