This girl is more easily done than said...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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