Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
