He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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