I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
