Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
