So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
